‘Dubstep’s not about music, its about that place where nothing makes sense, because you don’t want it too, as long as they don’t know, that you know, that it doesn’t…’
While some may say he’s ripe for picking, Dj Dubstep Banana prefers the pick of the bunch metaphor, when describing his overwhelming success in the dance music industry since coming from a family of underwhelming and unsuccessful house DJ’s.
‘Yeah, we were close once’ states Banana, stretched out comfortably in his requested banana hammock (yes really) for our scheduled one on one interview and photo shoot.
‘But that was back when we were still green, but we were always close you know. We would spend hours listening to music with each other and we all got into DJing around the same time… mainly house with a little funk and instrumental hip hop here and there.’
When pressed further about how long ago this was he assures me that the late 90’s is the period he’s talking about.
‘And the early 2000’s of course’ he states with a confidence never seen in such a brilliant yellow banana before.
‘But one night I had, like a premonition man. This big black dude and this little white scrawny guy came to me in a dream… both with like full cockney accents yeah. The white guy had this open zipped hoodie on with a baseball cap that wasn’t quite on straight... except for the rim… that was the straightest rim id ever seen in my life!’ He laughs.
‘They were straight up with me you know, they told me they were from the future, a magical future where House music was completely dead, save for a few diehards still trying to put on shows here and there. All of a sudden they were next to a payphone and I was like whoa! They look exactly like Bill and Ted getting into their phone booth time machine – except one was black, and the other looked nothing like Keahnu Reeves, and they were English… but apart from that it was exactly the same. And as they melted away I could here a single word over and over – like a loop yeah, well maybe it was a loop.’
‘And all it said was Dubstep…… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep… Dubstep…
(Authors note: I would love to say that I have added those extra lines for dramatic effect… But he really did repeat that word over and over for what seemed like an eternity before my recording devise died and I had to change batteries!)
‘My brothers’ didn’t believe me of course’ he states, rather nonchalantly, before adding
‘not that I told them. Firstly, I didn’t even know what this dubstep thing was, but more importantly this dream had come to me! I didn’t need to share all my secrets did I?’
When asked what other secrets he had he was unable to provide them, and then went all quiet… like he was offended by such an obvious question. Finally we got the interview back on track and he was able to fill me in on the rest of the story. He told me how he searched and searched for the meaning of this new word without success and when about to give up hope discovered this ‘brand new crazy technology thing’ called the Internet. After getting lost for months on sites such as ‘Peeled Back XXX’ and ‘Skin Tube’ … he finally found his way to youtube and discovered what dubstep actually was. ‘It fucking blew my skin off! Even more than the sites I was regularly visiting. And that’s saying something!’ he almost sang as if lost in a bubble of memories.
‘Here was a sound that penetrated my thick outer skin and made me all mushy inside.’ The bass just thumped through me… and the kicker. It didn’t even sound like music!’
So DJ Dubstep Banana was born (or grown) – ahead of his time and a long way ahead of his brothers. Today he can be found on the line-up of any major festival, working the kids into a frenzy of eclectic whoomp baselines, without the need for any type of audible instrumental sound.
‘Dubstep’s not about music’ he lectures me,
‘It’s about that place where nothing makes sense, because you don’t want it too, as long as they don’t know, that you know, that it doesn’t… It’s not about rhythm or a beat or anything that actually sounds good. It’s about mass destruction! The Gunners had an appetite for it in the late 80’s and now it’s our turn. Pimped out, blipped up, rolling 140bpm fucking badass madness!!! The kids are too young to remember what music is – so we fill their ears with this industrial grind and they fucking lap it up. You gotta stay hard man… especially as a Banana you know what I’m saying! If I go smooth or soft I’m fucked, a goner… so we play hard, and mix hard, and dance hard – and that’s the way I fucking like it!’
DJ Dubstep Banana is performing on behalf of Banana Boat Sunscreen for one show only in Adelaide on Saturday 25th June. Check local guides for details.
Sub – insert (Authors next note – Performing a show for a sunscreen company in the middle of winter?? Fuck me! Just when I thought the world couldn’t get any weirder, I mean, I’m still getting over Shane Warne’s Talk Show! )
